Loneliness, Masculinity, and the Need for Emotional Support
In this day and age, where online connectivity is so vast, you'd expect people to feel less lonely, but the opposite is often true.
Loneliness affects millions of people, and men tend to suffer even more than women. The UK is no exception, with devastating consequences for men’s mental health across all ages.
According to research for the Office for National Statistics (ONS), men are less likely to admit to feeling lonely than women, yet they experience it all the same. In 2022, around 2.5 million men reported feeling lonely often or always, and it’s believed this number has only risen since then.
Social expectations and outdated stereotypes around masculinity play a huge role in understanding the impact of loneliness on men in the UK. Even if our parents didn’t say it directly, the message is all around us, at school, on the playground, and in the workplace.
Boys and men are often told not to cry, to be resilient and stoic, to stay self-reliant and masculine, the list goes on. Showing vulnerability or asking for emotional support can be stigmatised. So many men keep it in, put on a brave face, and just crack on. But this often makes the feelings of isolation even stronger.
Loneliness is not a passing emotion. It has a massive impact on men’s mental health, not only in the UK but around the world. Chronic loneliness can lead to depression and anxiety. The stigma around mental health then makes it harder for men to seek support, either from a counsellor or even from friends, trapping them in a vicious cycle.
The negative effects of loneliness go beyond mental health. It can seriously damage men’s physical wellbeing too. Chronic loneliness is linked to a higher risk of cardiovascular disease, weakened immune function, and other serious health concerns.
We’re often conditioned to focus on our physical health, but we don’t always realise that our mental and physical health are deeply connected. You can have a body that looks fit and healthy, but if you don’t take care of your mind as well, your body will eventually suffer from the inside out.
Loneliness also puts strain on existing relationships and makes it harder to build new ones, whether romantic or platonic. Without social support, the sense of isolation deepens, and many men withdraw even further.
So, what can we do about it?
Despite how big the issue of loneliness is among men in the UK, I remain hopeful. There’s still a long way to go, but every day, I feel a gentle breeze of change in our society.
We need to keep normalising emotional expression, vulnerability, and asking for help. Let’s challenge those outdated ideas of masculinity and stoicism.
Support groups, like the Men’s Walk & Talk group I run in Medway, can make a real difference. (Feel free to contact me if you’d like to know more.) Getting involved in community support or awareness campaigns helps chip away at the old stereotypes and builds something healthier in their place.
And please, don’t lose hope. Everything might feel lost in your darkest hour—but the sun will shine again, and someone out there will be grateful you're still in the fight.